"This Week" by the Bahrain Meditation Centre
27th January 2007

Are You Sitting Comfortably? Part I – An Uncomfortable Paradox

Are you comfortable? Are you too comfortable? Whenever you feel emotionally uncomfortable it's a sure sign you are being challenged to step out of one of your comfort zones. Being in any kind of 'comfort zone' means you are in a kind of sleepiness. But if you are still uncomfortable with your own discomfort after the discomfort has passed, it is a good sign, it means you are aware of, and reflecting on, your discomfort, and that means you are waking up. But if, like many, you have become comfortable with being uncomfortable, it means you have created a comfort zone made of discomfort! You are deeply asleep. You will likely create thoughts like, "Some stress is healthy… it's good get angry with people once in a while … what 'they' did is so bad they need to be sorted out". And you will believe such uncomfortable thoughts are OK and normal.

So what is a comfort zone? It is a set of self-limiting beliefs, thought patterns, feelings, behaviours or circumstances outside of which you are not comfortable. The key words are 'self-limiting' because the essential nature of every human being is unlimited. It's only when we lose awareness of our 'unlimitedness' that self-limitation kicks in. It is only when we lose awareness of our true authentic unlimited self, that we then define ourselves by something that we are not, something smaller than our self. And that has to be uncomfortable for an innately unlimited being but, as we shall see, we have the tendency to 'believe' it is comfortable!

Any comfort zone is really an attachment to, and identification with, certain beliefs, thought patterns, feelings, behaviors or circumstances, much like a child forms an attachment to a piece of blanket or a toy, or a perfectionist forms an attachment to everything needing to be done perfectly, or a religious believer forms an attachment to a specific set of beliefs. Take the child's blanket away, or simply threaten to take them away, and either tears or anger will ensue. Suggest that a standard less than perfect is OK and there will be an immediate resistant reaction from the perfectionist. Imply that a set of beliefs is plain wrong and it is likely an argument will take shape and war may even break out! The emotional content of all these reactions is uncomfortable. Usually it is some form of anger or fear. But it happens so often we become comfortable with our emotional creation and we begin to define ourselves by our uncomfortable emotions, to such an extent that if a day goes by without generating such emotions it feels like something is missing. We think to ourselves, "I haven't been myself today". So of we go looking for someone or something that will challenge us so that we have an excuse to create our uncomfortable emotions which have become our 'comfort zone'! Some will even deliberately pick a verbal fight not realising they are dependent on their discomfort to define themselves.

This means all our comfort zones are paradoxically uncomfortable. But we are just so accustomed to our discomfort that not only do we define ourselves by it (self-limitation) we create a need to affirm our self limited definition every day. Tell a crying child that he or she is a 'cry baby' often enough, and they will believe and define themselves by the belief that they are a cry baby. And for the rest of their life they will seek reasons to cry in some form or other, because only then will they feel comfortable after once again having affirmed its self belief system, which is really uncomfortable!

This is why there is ultimately only one place of true Comfort for every human being, and that is in its original 'unlimited' state of consciousness. It is a state where being does not define itself by anything less than itself. And everything that is less than self is everything other than itself! To return to that state requires we deliberately break out of our self created comfort zones, which can be likened to a prison. The bars to our prison are erected only by ourselves, with a little help from friends and/or parents etc. when we are young. This is why any authentic spiritual path can only be truly walked if you continuously and sometimes ruthlessly challenge yourself to see and break out of the various levels at which you create your comfort zones. Each bar needs to be dismantled and extracted. This is why the spiritual path is seldom the religious path.

On the religious path comfort zones are defined by fixed belief systems which must be held onto and defended if they are perceived to be threatened. Those who walk a spiritual path are not interested in beliefs that 'might' be true as much as 'knowing' what is true, which can only be achieved and verified by personal experience. They know that the attachment to and the defence of anything, from beliefs to behaviours, generates fear and it is that fear which kills the ability to experience and know what is true and authentic. It is only when truth is known and affirmed by direct personal experience that it does not need to be defended.

This is probably one of the main reasons why so few walk an authentic spiritual path for longer than the first realisation that they have to let go of what they have come to define, albeit subconsciously, as their comfort zone. The first steps on an authentic spiritual path reveal the inner prison bars that need to be dismantled. And those bars contain a zone of comfort. Open the door of a caged bird and few birds will fly out, so comfortable have they become in their cage and by the bars of their cage.

As two prisoners looked out from their prison cell,
The first saw only bars and the second saw only stars
The second saw only heaven the first saw only hell.

Ultimately the sign of a fully awakened and aware human being will be the absence of any comfort zone. They have flown their prison cells of sleepy comfort. They fly amongst the stars, metaphorically speaking of course! Their consciousness is restored to its unlimited state. They will be able to face any challenge, move through any situation, without feeling uncomfortable about anything. They are awake again. They will have learned to see no threats in this world. Emotional discomfort will be strange and ancient idea of some distant era past.

This of course is quite a challenging destination to reach. It's not a journey that takes a day or a month or even a year. But it is, for many, the only journey worth making, as the promise of the destination is a state of being that knows the truth of freedom because it is truly free. It is a state of being that is then aligned to life by the intention to help others free themselves. And that is possibly the greatest act of love. It is an act that serves to both comfort the heart and awaken the soul at the same time!
Question: Identify your three main comfort zones but seeing what seems to make you uncomfortable?
Reflection: Why does true freedom lie only when you move out of your comfort zone?
Action: Identify two situations this week that you know trigger discomfort within you and deliberately go towards and into them. Next Week – Prison Break!

Om Shanti
(I am a peaceful soul)
 Tel: +973-17-712 545, meditate@batelco.com.bh, www.bahrainmeditationcentre.org
Bahrain Meditation Centre is administered by B.K.W.S.U. (visit: www.bkwsu.org.uk)