"This Week" by the
Bahrain Meditation Centre

28th October 2006

The Secrets of Self Esteem
Part 3of 3 – Uniqueness, Beauty and Value

If your self esteem is not stable it means you don't yet know 'who' and 'what' you are, and you have probably become dependent on others telling you how they think you are! You have not yet rediscovered the source of your self esteem. It a source we all have in common.

Who YOU Are!
We learn to attach to and identify with many things that we are not, including our position, pay, possessions, places and other people. When we mistakenly identify with something that we are not, we are making a mistake at the deepest level. All these things are outside our self and subject to change. So when they change, disappear or decay, as they must, we are affected. We become emotional and feel a loss of self control. Every time we lose self control it is a kind of failure that eats away at our self esteem while sustaining a self image based on self doubt.

To know ourselves as we truly are, is to realise that we are none of those things, we are only our self! We can only be our self. What is the self? The self is the I that says 'I am'. In its natural state, that sense of 'I' contains nothing of the outside world, including the world of beliefs and memories. Only then is our I-dentity clear and stable and grounded internally not externally. It is object and image free, and it never changes. It is eternal and unchangable. Who we really are can never be insulted, can never be damaged, because who we are cannot be seen or touched. Our body can but the authentic, essential 'self' cannot. Some will call the authentic self spirit, others name it 'soul'.

What YOU Are!
Give a bag of diamonds and jewels to a jeweller and ask him to estimate their worth and the first thing the jeweller will do is open the bag and look at each diamond. They will then estimate it's value based on it's purity (transparency), what it looks like and it's potential use. Similarly, if we are to know our true worth, if we are to generate an estimate of our value, we need open our self to our self, and look within our self.

To know what we are and what we have within us we need to make the journey within to discover that we already have within the heart of our consciousness (our self), the three things we search for outside our self – love, peace and happiness. But theory is not enough. It won't give us power. We need to 'see it and feel' it within our self wherever we are, and during whatever we are doing. Only then can we realise:

a) we no longer need to search for what we already have, and therefore there is no longer any sense of failure in not finding what we are searching for
b) that it's how we use these three inner resources that will be the basis of how we create our life, our sense of worth and value, and therefore our self estimation
c) that no one can ever take these three precious gifts of life away from us

Only then will we know (and use) the most valued attributes of every being human. And as we learn to live as a source of peace and source of love for others, only then will we know our highest value. Only then, when we know and are aware of who and what we are, will our self estimation become unshakable and unbreakable.

To reach and realise that level of knowingness, and that constant awareness however, you will need to go beyond the words, beyond the concepts, behind these insights and ideas, and into your self. Otherwise you will likely continue to live outside your self, identifying with what you find 'out there', and then basing your self estimation on something that is not you. Step inside your self and know your self, know your beauty and realise your value. You are gorgeous and you are priceless. You may not have learned to see that…yet! But no can ever take that away from you… ever.

Question:
What do you tend to base your sense of self on most - position, pay, possessions, places people and what they think of you?
Reflection

: Remember a moment when you felt good about yourself following a significant 'giving' to others – what qualities did you display during those moments? In what ways could you expand and use those qualities in other areas?
Action:
Take a blank sheet of paper and create the vision of someone with high self esteem. If you can 'see' it then you can 'be' it.

Om Shanti
(I am a peaceful soul)

 Tel: +973-17-712 545, meditate@batelco.com.bh, www.bahrainmeditationcentre.org