"This Week" by the
Bahrain Meditation Centre
25th November 2006

The Heart of Relationships - Part 1 of 3 - The Restoration of Love
Relationship is the giving and receiving of energy in the form of love, light and power.

In every relationship every interaction is an exchange and every exchange is energetic. The highest currency of exchange is love. But what is love? It is an invisible energy, a constant radiant energy that emanates from the heart of every human soul. And wherever it moves and whatever it touches, it creates and sustains unity. If it doesn’t it is not love. If there is disunity at any level it means love is absent, love is blocked, love is distorted, love is temporarily lost.

The Personal
Love is personal and interpersonal. At a personal level love is present and unifying when there is a clear sense of our true self and there is a wholeness and completeness that is felt within the self. Underlying that sense of wholeness will be an undisturbable peace. This is now rare within many people. More common is a fragmented sense of self with many voices of many selves internally creating the noise of many thoughts and emotions pulling in different directions. These voices are the voices of many selves, many identities, based on form, position, race, profession, nationality, negative self image, low self esteem etc. This inner disintegration of the self is the cause of our inability to love and feel love for our self. The disintegration and fragmentation of identity results in the absence of integrity or integrated ness. Love is distorted, polluted and diluted by his inner fragmentation. Love is lost to our feelings. We cannot feel love within our disintegrated consciousness so we cannot give love to others. When we don’t feel love within our self we look for love from others.

To heal the disintegration and fragmentation of our self it is necessary to restore our wholeness and completeness and therefore unify our sense of self around our singular and true identity as a spiritual being. This requires the transcending of all the many false identities, and therefore silencing their demands and their voices. This inner sense of singularity, of integrated ness, then allows the power of love to emanate from our heart without distortion and in the most concentrated form. The method of restoration and re-integration is to sit quietly and to see and realize all the false identities we create, hush the sounds of all their harsh voices (uncontrolled fearful thinking) and rediscover the peace that lies at the heart of our own true self. Only then can our natural loving radiance emanate from our heart and into our relationships.

The Interpersonal
Stress is simply the absence of love in relationship. Where love is absent fear and anger will be present in some form. And stress, at an emotional level, is fear or anger. They are the antithesis of love. The exchange of either of these emotions, overtly or subtly, in any relationship, means there is a break down, a disintegration of the bond, a breaking of the union between two people or between two groups of people.

This can only happen when we want something from the other. We either want ‘them’ to do or be something, and when they do not do or be what we want we distort the energy of our heart, the energy of love, into anger and fear. The only solution is to want nothing of others and to accept them as they are. Only then can we restore the bond of love and reunify the relationship. And why do we want something, why do we want anything from another, because we are still under the illusion that they can make us happy. You know that is an illusion don’t you. Solution? Give don’t want. If you give and still want its not giving, it’s needing. And love has only one need. To give of itself.

Now look out at the world and what do you see. A world bereft of love. Disintegrated by a thousand different identities, factions, groups, races, religions etc. Hence the raging conflict reported every day. Can you do anything about that? Can you make people love? Can you force people to unite and be loving? If you leave your armchair you may scratch the surface of one or two conflicts at a minor level somewhere in the world. Otherwise there is nothing you can do except… heal your self, reintegrate all the fragments of your self, restore your capacity to be and give love. That is ‘almost’ all you can do. And as you do you may inspire, lead, show others how they can do the same. So what will you do? Rage against a loveless world? Or heal the heart of your self? Sounds tough? Sounds like a tall order? But love is tough, and yet gentle. And only love stands tall, without wanting attention for itself.

Question: In which two relationships in your life do you find disunity, disharmony, an absence of love and why do you think that is? What is it that you want and are not getting in those relationships?
Reflection: Love wants nothing and gives everything. Love is not heated passion, it is coolness. Love is not letting go, as it does not attach to anything in the first place.
Action: Create three ways you can/will act to restore unity in your relationships this week – what, with whom, where and when.

Om Shanti
(I am a peaceful soul)
 Tel: +973-17-712 545, meditate@batelco.com.bh, www.bahrainmeditationcentre.org
Bahrain Meditation Centre is administered by B.K.W.S.U. (visit: www.bkwsu.org.uk)