"This Week" by the
Bahrain Meditation Centre
The Heart of Relationships - 9th December

Part 3 of 3 – The Power to Empower

Relationship is the giving and receiving of energy in the form of love, light and power.

Every interaction is an exchange, every exchange is energetic. After love and light, power is the third form of energy exchange. But what exactly do we mean by power?

Most people believe that ‘power over’ others is the only real power worth pursuing in the world. This kind of power can be acquired through position and the belief that a higher position confers power over those in a lower position. Both parties have to ‘believe’ in positional power in order for the higher to ‘appear’ more powerful. Or there is the power someone appears to have over another but only when the other has low self esteem/respect and is vulnerable to the criticisms, arrogance or forcefulness of another. Neither power of position nor power over vulnerability is ‘real’ power.

Real power only happens in a relationship when one empowers the other. Do you empower others or do you disempower others? When someone tells you their new idea or plan do you encourage them from your heart? Do you respond with, “Fantastic, go for it, I wish you all the best”. Or do you look hesitatingly into infinity and, with a slight furrowing of your brow, say, “Mmm, not sure that will work, personally I don’t think I would do that. In fact, I can see some flaws already”.

The first step in empowering anyone is to give encouragement to their endeavors. It is to fill their heart with courage, which really means to invoke and encourage their own courage, which is already hidden in their heart, to make itself known. Even though their idea/plan may be filled with holes and flaws, to place a damp squib in front an idea as soon as it is shared is to give the other permission to drain their heart of courage.

Here are seven of many ways to empower another.
1. Good Wishes
When, as above, you give good wishes, your positive energy invites the energy of the other to resonate at that higher level. They are then able to dissolve their self-doubt and hesitancy.
2. Trust - To trust someone is to invest your faith and confidence in them. When received it nurtures self-confidence and the feeling of being supported. This can be vital nourishment to someone until they learn to nourish themselves.
3. Consult- When you ask the other for their ideas you are saying, “I value you and your creative ability”. To listen to another’s suggestions is to invest time and energy in their capacity to generate insight and ideas thereby empowering their self worth.
4. Respect- This is the foundation of all relationships. To give respect is how we subtly empower each other. However the power of respect is magnified when you DO NOT remove your respect for someone who has just made a mistake. They will still feel the power of your support and that is the power which they can draw upon to correct their mistake and ensure they don’t make the same mistake again. To remove your respect for a person in such an instance is to empower their guilt and encourage their shame – possibly the most disempowering gesture.
5. Care- People don’t care how much you know, they want to know and feel how much you care. Why? Because they are nurtured and uplifted when they receive love in the form of authentic caring. Everyone needs this until they can do it for themselves.
6. Compassion - To empathize with another’s suffering, without suffering your self, is compassion in action. By maintaining your inner strength and not creating the suffering of another within yourself, you stay above their emotional pain, and thereby serve as a source of power on which they can draw to help them raise themselves out of their own suffering.
7. Attending- By seeing and giving attention to the positive attributes of another’s character, regardless of how prominent their negative attributes may be, you are empowering the best in them. To see the negative is to empower the negative.

While the above examples are fairly obvious ways of empowering others there is a secret behind the process. Just as you suffer first and most when you generate anger towards another, the same applies to empowerment. When you empower someone, in whatever way you choose, you are the first to be and to feel empowered by your own intention, attitude and actions.

Question: Which of the above do you find the easiest to practice and which of the above do you find hardest and why?
Reflection: No one can disempower you without your permission
Action: Write down the names of seven people in your life and then match one of the above with each person

Om Shanti
(I am a peaceful soul)
 Tel: +973-17-712 545, meditate@batelco.com.bh, www.bahrainmeditationcentre.org
Bahrain Meditation Centre is administered by B.K.W.S.U. (visit: www.bkwsu.org.uk)